Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
