You jokes

Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.

Mineta: Go on.

Denki: Uraraka's booty.

Mineta: I don't get it.

Denki: Exactly.

Mineta: ^cries T_T^

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?

Because it was Halloween!

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

  • 0
  • My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

    My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

    This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

    Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

    Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

    Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

    What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

    Fresh roadkill.

    What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."

    Apple

    Apple

    Apple

    Apple

    Apple

    Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?

    This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

    (Do you get the joke?)

    (Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)