You jokes
Hi good morning, Alex, are you on? This is So Chat...
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
"Alex, hi, you here!?"
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.