You jokes
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.