You jokes

Dad

  • You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

    Earthquake

  • One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

  • 1
  • Abortion

  • A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

    When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

    God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

  • 1
  • Death

  • You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

    Comeback

  • Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

  • 2
  • Fat

  • You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.