You jokes

Class

  • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: No one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*

    Little Johnny: *stands up.*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

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    Teacher

  • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: no one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

    Little Johnny: *stands up*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

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    Urn

  • Me: "What are you doing??"

    Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

    Me: "I don't know."

    Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

    Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

    Don't bully kids.

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    Orphan

  • There was a kid sitting in a corner.

    Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

    Orphan: "..."

    Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

    Lie

  • Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

    Johnny: Yes, Papa.

    Dad: Getting women?

    Johnny: Yes, Papa.

    Dad: Telling lies?

    Johnny: No, Papa.

    Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

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    Muslim

  • A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

    And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

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  • Floor

  • Denki: Did you just... fall over?

    Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

    Sero: Backwards?

    Bakugo: I'm talented.

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    Pizza

  • Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

    Orphan

  • What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

    Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

    Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

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    Pacer Test

  • The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

    Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

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