You jokes

Mom

  • Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

    Kid: Sure.

    Mom: Knock knock.

    Kid: Who's there?

    Mom: Not yo.

    Kid: Not yo who?

    Mom: Not yo father.

    Kid: Not yo husband either.

    Suicide

  • What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?

    None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.

    Orphan

  • Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

    Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

    Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

    Orphan: About 200 years.

    Chrome

  • Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

    Hairline

  • You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨

  • 3
  • Compliment

  • I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

    Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

    Poison

  • A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

  • 1
  • Food

  • "Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

    "He died."

    "Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

    (After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

    Mouth

  • I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.