You jokes
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
What do you call a rich orphan?
Batman.
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.