You jokes
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"