You jokes
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.