You jokes

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”

Because it stands for family.

In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.

I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

A: Alien vs. Predator.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.