You jokes
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
Did you know that water is wet?
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?
It was the bomb.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"