You jokes

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?

Seize your moment.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.