You jokes
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.