You jokes

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?

No one stops sucking.

Say yes if you wanna fuck.

Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?

The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.

Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

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