The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a mid life crisis
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson?
The Jackson dog. It's 49-year-old sausage between 6-year-old buns.
