Worse jokes
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
What's worse than 5 babies in a dumpster?
5 dumpsters in a baby.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"