Worse jokes

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Your uncle.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.

What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?

Realizing you only put in 4.

What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?

He always needs a hand.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.

Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?

A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?

Hitting it off with a cricket bat.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.