Worse jokes
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.