Worse Jokes

Artemas

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”.

The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".

The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

Anonymous

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it’s been getting worse. Recently, I’ve been advised about my condition, and how I’ve been discussing to her about being suicidal, she’s been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don’t have to worry about it later.

Daloolah

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

  • 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.
1
Anonymous
in Russia

Russian history in 5 words: “And then things got worse.”

Anonymous
in Marriage

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…

If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

9
Joyboy

What’s worse than 3 babies in one trashcan? One baby in three trashcans.

Anonymous
in Offensive

What’s worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.

Anonymous

What’s worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

He must never know

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

6
in Depression

What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?

Anonymous

Doctor: I have good news and I have worse news Patient: Well what’s the bad news Doctor: You have one day left to live Patient: What news could possibly be worse Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you sense yesterday

5
Cetraflux

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What’s worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

0
BaldeyLocks
in Nonce

Whats worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles.

Anonymous

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them

Anonymous

What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

Dead baby Pile

What’s worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it’s way out

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

What’s worse than ants in your pants - Michael Jackson

Silent

What’s worse then a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

5

What’s worse than ten baby’s nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.