Worry jokes
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Don't worry, neither have they.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
This will calm u down rn
Deadpool and Harley Quinn
Guys only want two things in life
lol
bombastic side eye
Shitpost-master general
Community talk
its mal. since ik gianni is talking, i figured id get out what needs to be said. not for anyone else, but for my own sanity. idek where to start. 12 months gianni, 12. you wasted sm of my time. id stay up late at night worried sick for someone who didn't care about me one bit. i waited for someone who was spending his free time with minors. the only true thing you ever said to me is that i deserve better than the mon… Read more
I'm gathering the pieces people had broken off of me. I'm rebuilding my self, a new hope in my eyes. I will strive to my military dreams. To my career. To my lover, My other. For my friends. Dor my future children. I want nothing bad to them ever. I will keep working hard. fixing myself. I am not an object to break and rebuild, neither are you. You are important too, strive for success long enough. It never comes eas… Read more
I started dating someone but im scared and worried he'll leave me 😭