Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage. Child: But why? Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove? So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said "I will fuck you up", she said "try me", so that's exactly what I did and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying
One day I got home and told my girlfriend "I cheated on you." she replied with "F**k you" I then said "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die. What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
I’m gonna jump to my death. Don’t worry. I won’t jump far. Just off this chair here...
There is thin line between death and life !! You won't live to see it .....
The Cardiogram will !!
Bully...you such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
I was going to make a chemistry joke.. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
There are people who are beautifull and then there are people whom I won't rape
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You cant beetah the cheetah
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
The Titanic, just like my phone IT JUST WON'T SYNC
Edit: Never mind it started to sync...
“Mum I just won this phone in a race!” “Who was in the race?” “The owner of the phone And the police I think they’re at the door to congratulate me!”
