Women jokes
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
What do gay girls order in a bar?
Pussy juice.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."