What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
Woman Jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
