Woke Up Jokes

There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

I heard there was a kidnapping

Don't worry he woke up

In the back of a van

It was his father's

Friend who was a priest

He was just bringing him to church

I had a dream that i was destroyin the world and i blew up my house for fun I woke up and couldnt find my pillow... Nor the house

My stepdad took me to work and he told me I could climb trees. I woke up in a hospital, wait did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

yo mamas so fat she woke up on both sides of the bed

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.

I had a dream I was a muffler last night.... I woke up EXHAUSTED 😂😃

This morning I woke up then took a bath with some chocolate mud at first when i turn the damn flossers on. i notice it wasn't water it's was all chocolate mud and now my body is all chocolatly.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

I woke up on the floor this morning ,I think I woke up on the wrong side thou

Had an amazing night with this girl woke up and it was my aunt now I’m inlove

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up my pillow was gone!

There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

little johnny woke up at midnight on xmas eve to santa with his pants down on top of his mom he then said ho ho OH YEAH!!!

I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st.. XD

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed, turns out the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire