Why jokes

Wheelchair

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

Astronaut

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

Fan

Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.

Wash your hands.

Noob

Why is Job good at Minecraft? Because he is noob, noob, noob, noob, noob. NOOB!

Dad

Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?

She kept making dad jokes.

Battery

Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.

Orange

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!

Squirrel

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

Dog

Why do I call my dog a vibrator?

Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.

Husband

There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.

The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”

Baby Shark

"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."

Cop

Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans tell jokes?

Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.