Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.
Why Jokes
Why can’t orphans tell jokes?
Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the bitch’s house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why is 8 afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
Why did he not love anymore? His battery died.
But why?
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because...
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
