Why jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
why his deathstare hot af
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don't get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!"
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
Why were people not happy before they were part of the LGBTQ+? Because they weren’t gay.
Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!
