Why jokes
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they never make it home.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!