Why jokes
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.