Why jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
He responded with, “The cat is dead.”
She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.
Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.