Why jokes
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
Why is the fanny flat? Because so it can flop about.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.