Whos jokes

What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?

A redneck virgin.

If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?

Americans...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Co- MOO!

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jesus.

Jesus who?

Jesus Christ, open the door!

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.