Whos jokes

A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Who am I?

Who's the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?