Whos jokes

If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?

Americans...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Co- MOO!

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing?

'Cause she had no arms.

Knock, knock!! Who's there?

Not the girl.

Who hates going to a pizza party?

A weirdough.

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.