Whos jokes
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Memes
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
Who left him hanging?
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.