Wheres jokes

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?

There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria, dumb butt!

What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!

A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.

The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Yo mama so stupid.

When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."

Why were the octopi sad?

Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?

They were all family sized!

What is an owl that wears armor?

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!