When jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.
Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.
Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom