When jokes
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."
When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.
YEEEHAWW!
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol