When jokes
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?