When jokes

Dwarf

  • I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

    When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

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    Mama

  • Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

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    Night

  • Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

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  • School

  • Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

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    Sibling

  • As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

    Superman

  • Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

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    Leper

  • What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?

    He strained himself.

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  • Fire

  • Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

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    Funeral

  • I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

    And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

    And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

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