When jokes

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

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    • My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

    So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

    What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

    Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

    Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

    I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

    Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

    You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

    My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

    Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

    There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

    So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

    So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

    When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

    You're just happy you have the right to do something.

    When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

    Hiroshima, Japan 1946.