When jokes

Cannibal

  • The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

    Ass

  • What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

    My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

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  • Cashier

  • I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

    And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

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  • Orphan

  • When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

    He has no home to hit to.

    Funeral

  • My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

    Name

  • A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

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  • Kobe

  • It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

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  • Weight

  • She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

    Body

  • One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

    Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

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