Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Stand? Wait. No.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
