Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Stand? Wait. No.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire? He won the F1 Wheelchair race
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
