Whats jokes
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop onions.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"