Whats jokes
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo! :)
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What screams I’m insecure?
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!