Whats jokes
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
The mistletoaster
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"