Whats jokes
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Memes
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.