Whats jokes
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."