Whats jokes
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!