Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
Whats Jokes
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you donβt understand the genders of deer, you wonβt understand it.)
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" πππ
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
