Whats jokes
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?
A penguin in a blender.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."