Whats jokes
Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
What do you call a group of emos?
A Suicide Squad.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"