Whats jokes
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Memes
A meme
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What's a rabbit's favorite song?
Hip hop.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.