What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
Whats Jokes
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
What's more annoying than uncles?
Ants.
What is this?
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.