Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What do you call a man with no toes?
No Toe Joe.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
What do you call a magic car?
A flying carpet.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
What's God's favorite Michael Jackson song? The Earth Song. 😍😍😍
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What do you call a dwarf with autism? Matthew Michal?
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
What is the difference between 9/11 and Clash Royale, lol?
Clash Royale still has a tower.